What happens in the darkness
by Summer20141
Summary: Hermione was having a terrible summer already, then the order leaves Severus in charge over her, but instead of things getting worse, they change drastically. She learns of pure blood traditions and magic that can ruin a person, but will it ruin Hermione? This story is a mix of positive, and dark themes, so proceed with caution. Au past the Order of the Phoenix SS/HG minor HP/DM
1. Chapter 1

Severus walked outside the perimeter of Granger's house. It was a task that he hated with a vengeance and made no attempts to hide. He would rather be working on the new variation of the dreamless sleep potion that he had been working on to try and get some sleep. He had developed a tolerance to the older version, so it did nothing to cure his endless sleepless nights now. He kicked a pebble into the road satisfied by how far he managed to send it flying in his annoyance. There was nothing here. There never was, the Dark Lord was focusing on increasing his power right now and couldn't give a fuck about the brat.

When he had told the headmaster this, all he had said was that the Dark Lord wasn't the only threat to the girl. Fool. Who else would risk Azkaban just to make the girl suffer? The thing was that no one really cared about the girl. Except Albus and the Dark Lord, but they were both senile, so that didn't really count.

He paced back and forth agitatedly in the darkness. There wasn't even any unsuspecting passerby's to terrify. He hated being alone with too much time to think. It was one of the reasons he hated to sleep and always kept busy. There was no rest for the wicked, and he had definitely done some wicked things in his lifetime. The soulless eyes of the many innocents he had killed mercilessly to please the Dark Lord, and avoid his own death flashed before his eyes. He took a shuddering breath and tried to force the haunting images away uselessly. He was an excellent occlumens, but his guilt was stronger than he was. He collapsed down in a bench facing Granger's street and let his head fall in his hands.

When Albus had asked him to accept the Dark Lord's offer and spy for him, he had never thought the war would still be going on years later, and his life would still be in shambles. He had never had the opportunity to live, every moment, of every waking day had been for the higher good. The only thing he ever did for himself was entertain himself with the infrequent visits from Tave, his playtoy. He looked up into the darkness and sighed wishing he would just throw the rules out and do what he wanted for once instead of doing the right thing.

His late night musings were interrupted when the front door to the girl's house opened, and a shadowy figure came sneaking out. He frowned at the foolish girl who started walking towards him, completely unaware of his presence since the street light above him was out. Why would she be going out of the safety of her home at this time of night? For all she knew, he could be here on the Dark lord's orders and not Albus's. He watched her since he had nothing better to do. She stopped at the bridge that separated the two of them and looked over at the small stream lost in thought.

She had grown up, that was for sure. She had the curves and swing in her step of an adult instead of the child that he was used to seeing. Her long brown hair fell in soft waves around her face obscuring her not so rounded features from his view. She glanced up at him seeming to sense his gaze and smiled straight at him. There was no way she should be able to see him right now, but she knew that he was there nonetheless.

"Good evening Professor." She said amusedly. He stood and walked the short distance to her and stood beside her looking over the rushing stream.

"How did you know I was there?" He asked curiously, noticing how dim her honey brown eyes were. She snorted at him softly, something that he found uncharacteristic of the normally uptight girl.

"If I gave everyone my secrets, there wouldn't be any left. Surely you know I'm smarter than that professor." She said looking down at the stream still seeming lost in her thoughts. He nodded not pushing it any further. For some insane reason he didn't want to make her mad and have her leave. He tried to convince himself it was just because he didn't want to be left alone to his thoughts, but he knew it had more to do with curiosity than anything. She seemed so different than he was used to. Was he just that blind, or was she different?

"Very well. In that case do you want to tell me why you're out here in the middle of night by yourself?" He asked feeling like lecturing the impertinent girl. She shrugged and glanced up at him as if surprised by the question.

"I don't know, I suppose the night time is just too long for me. I need to get out sometimes." She said in a way that made him suspect she was only grazing the surface of the real reason she was out here.

"You could be killed. What if I was a death eater for instance." He said annoyed by how lightly she took her own safety.

"You ARE a death eater Sir...and yet I'm still fine, aren't i?" She said pointedly. He glared at her and she smiled up at him, the dark aura around her seeming to lighten slightly and her eyes shining in the dark.

"Yes, but what if I was a loyal death eater you foolish girl? You would be dead." He insisted waving his arm exasperatedly at her flippiance.

"Then I would have to kill you I suppose...so I guess what we really should be focusing on is how lucky it is for you that I know you're not a loyal death eater to Voldemort." She said slowly grinning at his anger.

"Don't say his name." He demanded coldly. She took a bold step forward and looked up at him without any fear.

"Or what, you'll deduct house points? I'm sorry, you don't scare me Professor." She said not realizing what effect her close proximity had on him. He gulped and found that while she wasn't afraid of him, he was surely afraid of her. The cold hearted death eater took a step back to try and stop the strange feelings being close to her gave him.

"Yes, well, you should go back inside." He said changing the subject. She turned back to the stream and sighed.

"Yes, I suppose you're right." She said, her smile faltering a bit. He reached forward and brushed soft tendril of hair out of her face as if it was the most natural thing in the world to do. She looked up shocked and he made sure his cold indifferent mask was back up. He couldn't be doing this. He was feeling reckless because of the state of things in the war. He couldn't hurt another innocent life. Especially not hers.

"Good night." He said taking another step back before he did anything else that was even more stupid like kiss her soft lips. She gave him a tired smile and turned away.

"Sweet dreams Professor." She said softly.

"Sweet dreams to you to." He mumbled knowing she couldn't hear him. He watched her walk away, taking her unexplainable light with her, leaving him in darkness that somehow seemed darker than it had before she had come out.

He was losing it. He couldn't be drawn to a student, that was the worst possible scenario. He had spent so long not feeling anything that when his heart seemed to quicken at her very presence, he was shocked. He just lusted after her, that was all. That was what he was trying to tell himself anyways.

He grabbed his arm, hissing in pain when his master called him. The pain shook him out of his trance and he sent off a quick patronus to Albus and spun away to a night full of pain.

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Hermione spent the day lost in her books that she had brought to her house. She had already read all of the book for her year, so she was reading about animal transformations. She knew it was illegal to do by herself, but that wasn't going to stop her from trying. She was the cleverest witch of her age, and sometimes it was more clever to break a rule, than keep it. She had little trouble keeping out of her father's way since he rarely ventured from the living room since he had trouble walking, but when he needed water he would come in the kitchen where she was and glare at the multitude of books.

"You know, you could speak to me instead of drowning yourself in books." He snapped irritatedly, She didn't even glance up at his unkempt face and tried to ignore his presence in the room.

"You can't hate me forever. One day you will come to your senses, but I will be dead by then, won't I"? He said without holding back the bitterness in his tone.

"You're delusional if you think I just have to come to my senses to get over what you did. It's not a get over type of thing," She said back with just as icy of a voice. He snorted at this and slammed her book shut almost hitting her nose in the process. She glared at him hating the very breath he breathed next to her.

"You sit here and judge me, but you're just as responsible for your mother's death." He said harshly. She gave him an unbelieving look.

"What part was my fault, the part where you drank and drove with her in the car, or the part where you were too drunk to call 911, which could have saved her life." She asked, his voice rising in pitch at the accusation.

"You could have healed her with your magic, but you didn't even try. You were worried about getting kicked out of your precious school." He retorted. She jumped up and grabbed her book off the table and looked him straight in the eyes.

"She was already dead when I got there. There was nothing I could do." She said letting every once of her hatred for the man roll of her in waves that he must of felt, because he took a step back. She turned to leave, but he spoke up just as she got to the kitchen door.

"You're lying. I know you are. That evil man came back from the dead. Your people can do it, you are just too weak to actually do what it takes." He said sounding bitter, and yet also a little bit of longing crept into his voice. She left the room before she could give into the heartache that she know he felt and show him sympathy. He didn't deserve her forgiveness, but it was hard not to give when she knew he regretted what he did so much.

When she got up to her room there was a bird waiting on the outside of her window seal that she didn't recognize. It was a black falcon that flew around gracefully when she left it in and landed carefully on her white bed before turning to look at her. It waited patiently for her to remove the small box attached to its leg and she grabbed some of the treats she gave Hedwig when it come over. It sang in pleasure and ate the treats while she unwrapped the black box.

A potion fell out, along with a note written in a familiar scrawl that she never saw on her holidays.

The sight of you under the midnight sky

Is so bright, the light burns my eyes

Sleep now or In the morning; you will wake

Breathless from running through my mind all night

S.

She grinned at his attempts to be sweet, and anonymous at the same time. He failed spectacularly at being anonymous, but sweet, he did that very well. She couldn't imagine why on earth he would be obviously flirting with her. Sure they had shared a moment on the bridge, but he was so straight laced and didn't seem the type to color outside the lines. Flirting with a student was about as coloring outside the line as you could get. Actually that was more like dumping the lines in a gallon of gasoline and catching it on fire.

She grabbed a muggle pen from her desk and a piece of paper and scrawled out her reply to him.

Thank you for the potion. I have a very efficient Potions master who taught me to never drink anything from someone I don't know. It would be plain foolish to drink the potion…

Expect me to be knocked out tonight, so I regrettably won't be able to be running through your thoughts…

H.

She tied the note to the waiting falcon who nipped her finger gently in thanks for the treats.

"Take this to your master for me and bite him for me, will you?" She asked teasingly. He tilted his head to the side as if he understood and took off out the open window. She shook her head and plopped down on her bed tiredly. She should sleep, but she knew as soon as she did that, the memories of the last summer would come rushing back at her.

She would never forget the unsettled feeling she had when she heard the sirens in her neighborhood. It was intuition maybe, but she started walking towards the sound despite the late hour of night. The scene of her parents crash was surrounded by fire trucks and ambulances before she could get there, and her heart was crushed when she saw them pulling her mom out.

She cried out and tried to run to her mom, but she reached out to nothingness feeling the scene fade away from her. Her eyes shot open and the big black bird fell off her chest, fluttering when it hit the floor unceremoniously.

"I'm sorry." She said flustered at the bird who flew onto her night stand with annoyance.

It was dark outside her window already, but she still felt like it had only been a few minutes since her not so secret admirer had written to her. She untied the letter to see his familiar scrawl on the small letter and couldn't help a flutter of excitement she had knowing he had thought not just to make her the potion, but to respond to her.

I'm glad you have a decent potions professor who taught you not to drink potions from unknown sources. I am unsurprised that you decided to take it anyways since you have Potter and Weasley as friends. I am trying to make a new dreamless sleep potion that will work without Nettle in it.

Suggestions are welcome

S.

She grinned at his sudden change from poetry to cold and formal as always. He was a puzzle that she was sure would entertain her mind for eons to come. She penned out her reply and tied it to Falcon (she decided to name him this since it just fit the proud bird). She grabbed the dreamless sleep potion and took it, hoping she would get a few hours of uninterrupted sleep without being haunted by bad memories.

She wanted to move forward, but she knew she couldn't do so in this house. She would have to go to Grimwauld place, or she would just stay as depressed as she had been since the accident. Her last thoughts before falling asleep was of her silly response to her professor and wondering what his reaction would be.

I'm taking your dreamless sleep potion now

Is it poisoned? I guess I will know now

If I should die before I wake

I pray to you, anybody but voldy, my soul will take

H.

ps.- Jasmine is excellent for helping you sleep.


	2. Chapter 2

I thank everyone who had taken the time to read my story so far! The story is actually completely done, I am just editing it, so I will update periodically. I got the idea for the story and just had to go with it until it was done. Just FYI since I didn't give these warnings in the first chapter

This is definitely not a story I was advise anyone under 18 to read

There will be mentions of drug abuse (all legal, but just out of default.)

There will be plenty of drinking, but this is based in England where you can drink pretty much as soon as you can see over the counter.

There will be Cursing and dark themes, but also a bit of humor so if you don't like either, beware

With that...let's continue!

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She didn't wake for at least two full days. By the time she woke up, she was feeling amazingly well rested, but starving. Despite the fact that it was two am according to her clock she showered and went downstairs to get some food. She walked by her passed out father quietly wrinkling her nose at the smell of whisky that enveloped the room. She grabbed some leftovers and ate them quickly to satisfy her growling stomach, not bothering to taste the food.

If her calculations were right, and when were they ever not, Professor Snape would be on duty tonight until five am. She had gotten a pretty good idea of their rotation while watching them through her window during her many sleepless nights. She put her empty plate in the sink and snuck past her father again, closing the door softly so she didn't wake him up.

The night sky was clear, and the air was fresh and crisp in the summer air. She inhaled deeply, letting out a content sigh when she smelled the lavender that grew at the park at the end of the road.

He was there. He was leaning on a railing at the end of the bridge, and was messing with something she couldn't see from this distance. She walked over to him and was unsurprised that even though she was quiet, he turned and saw her well before she got to him.

"Finally wake up?" He asked casually. She leaned over the railing beside him and watched him play some sort of game on a phone that contrasted with the stuffy clothes he wore.

"You use a phone?" She asked surprised. He hummed and slid the phone in his pocket.

"It's more secure than an owl. Wizards don't know how to unlock a phone and always try to use magic on it to reveal it's secrets . this of course fries the circuit instantly making it useless if they want information from it." He said reasonably. She had never thought of that. She assumed the Order only used patronuses and owls to get in touch with each other. Perhaps, only Snape and the headmaster used phones. She was pretty sure if Mr. Weasley had a phone she would have heard him gushing about it by now.

"Gotcha. I never thought of that." She said watching him pop a lemon drop in his mouth. He glanced at her curious look and gave her a half-hearted shrug.

"The headmaster has me put a calming draught in it. It helps with the after effects of cruciatus." He said popping another one in his mouth almost instantly as if the first wasn't working fast enough. She felt a pang of sadness for him, noticing that he was leaning on the railings to help ease the shaking in his body. She wanted to tell him how bad she felt for what he had to go through, but knew that her pity would just make him angry so she let it go.

"What else does he have you put in it?" She asked curiously. She saw the falcon from earlier circling around the stream so gracefully she would have missed it if it hadn't passed right in front of the moon.

"Three drops of veritaserum." He said tonelessly. She tore her eyes off Falcon and looked at his dark eyes reflecting in the moonlight. They seemed darker than normal.

"Let me guess, you're trying to build up your tolerance to veritaserum and you know he won't call you again tonight so you're overdosing yourself on it?" She asked knowing the answer before he answered. He tried not to answer for a moment, but then ran his rands through his dark hair in frustration and answered.

"Yes."

She laughed at him earning herself a half-hearted glare.

"I'm sorry, just it's so strange seeing you unable to hide everything. You're normally so closed off." She said, grinning at him. She wasn't sure if it was the moonlight, but she thought she saw the briefest of smiles graze his lips. As quick as it was there though, it was gone.

"Yea, well, I am warning you, if you repeat anything I say today, you will wish the Dark lord killed you." He said seriously. She rolled her eyes and turned back to the great bird dipped noiselessly in and out of the bushes, looking for dinner presumably.

"Why don't you give me one. Make it even. " She said holding her hand out for one of the delicious treats. He seemed shocked by her request, but gave her a curt nod and handed her a lemon drop. She was surprised by how good it tasted. She had always declined the headmaster when he offered them, but now she understood why the headmaster ate them all day if they had a calming draught in them. No doubt dealing with all the drama at Hogwarts put you on edge after a while.

"Always a foolish Gryffindor." He mumbled under his breath, but his eyes were soft in the moon light. She grinned at him.

"So tell me, what do you really think of me." She asked curiously. He seemed surprised by the question.

"You have me under the effects of veritaserum and you're not going to ask about my allegiance, or past deeds, you're asking what I think of you?" He asked as if she was truly an idiot. She shrugged and pushed her hair out of her face when the soft wind kept blowing it in her eyes.

"I don't care what you've done in the past, or even fifteen minutes ago. I only care about the here and now, and right now…I want to know what you think of me." She said watching the mirth at her response flicker across his dark and veritaserum intoxicated eyes.

"I think you are brilliant. Way too patient with those idiots who you hang out with. And sometimes entirely oblivious to the effect you have on people." He said not fighting the effects the veritaserum had on him. He valued his private emotions more than anything else, and yet he was sharing it freely with her. It was confounding. She had done nothing to earn his trust.

"What effect that I have on people?" She asked wondering what effect he imagined she had. He snorted at this and started walking down the road making her follow him.

"My question now." She sighed but waved for him to continue.

"Why can't you sleep?" He asked looking around, checking the perimeter for intruders around her street. She felt panic rising in her at the question and she suddenly regretted taking the lemon drop. She froze when her mouth tried to form the words and she put her hand over her mouth. He had continued for a few steps, but then turned around when he realized she wasn't there.

His dark eyes were suddenly right next to her and she knew she would need breath soon or she would pass out.

"I'm sorry, I didn't realize…" He said seeming lost at what to do with her. Her body tried to pull in air, and she knew that as soon as it did, it would make her confess her secret. She had wanted the knowledge of her mother's passing to stay here. She wanted to get away from the pain, not see it reflected in pity in everyone's eyes. Grimmauld place was her safe haven. She couldn't ruin that.

"Hermione, you need to breath, you're going to pass out." He said, his voice sounding surprisingly concerned in her foggy mind. 'Thats the point' her foolish mind thought. If she could stay unconscious long enough to let the veritaserum wear off, then she wouldn't have to tell him. Everything could stay the same.

She felt his firm hands on her arms, and felt a comforting warmth pass over her skin, and through her bones. She had never felt such a strange sensation in her life. She knew somehow that it was his magic brushing against hers. When Harry was mad, she had often felt his magic. Even sometimes she had felt Draco's or Ronald's...but they had never felt like this. It was the most pure high she had ever felt, and yet soothing at the same time. She could see his hair next to her despite starting to black out and felt him whisper against her ear.

"Shh...You can trust me. Tell me what happened. I will keep your secret." The feel of his breath against her ear was so unexpected that she was taken off guard when he removed her hand from her face and she started gulping in the fresh night air. She wanted to yell at him, tell him how foolish he was for asking such a question, but she answered it before she could even try and stop herself again.

"My mom died. My father killed her while drunk driving, and I got there just moments after she died." She whispered horrified. He still had his arms on hers and she was so close she could feel him stiffen at her confession.

"I'm sorry...I didn't know that's what it was. I assumed it was just your adventures with Potter. No one told me about your mom." He said releasing her hands and taking a step back. She took deep breaths to get oxygen back in her blood and looked away from him.

"I didn't tell anyone." She admitted sitting down on a low bearing wall. He sat next to her and neither one of them said anything for a long moment.

"My father killed my mother with his bare hands." He said softly breaking the silence. She looked to him in surprise unsure if he was telling the truth.

"I didn't tell anyone but Albus. There are some things that are easier dealt with without the whole world knowing." He said gently. She sighed and leaned against him tiredly despite being well rested.

"Thank you." She said genuinely. Both for sharing such a deep secret with her, and keeping hers. He looked down at her, and his seriousness from earlier dissipated.

"Again you oblivious fool. You have no idea what effect you have on others." He said with mock annoyance. She got off his shoulder embarrassed that she had been snuggling with her Professor.

"I'm sorry." She said wiping her eyes and giving him a rueful smile. He waited a few moments before standing up, and she felt herself blush when she realized what he meant by her having an 'effect' on him.

"So it's my turn." She said to change the subject. He walked languidly beside her under the streetlights, not really looking for anything now since they had already walked the perimeter.

"Shoot." He said popping another lemon drop.

"Do you hate muggleborns." She asked nervous of the answer. To her shock he laughed deeply, the sound making her smile despite herself.

"No. Far from it. I have always loved muggleborns. I joined the Dark lord to try and get rid of the ridiculous blood purity ideals. Pureblood women are not attractive since they are so inbred they are generally strange looking, and most often than not, they are completely mental." He said honestly. She frowned unsure if she heard interpreted his wording right.

"You joined to protect muggleborns? Meaning you were never loyal to the Dark lord?" She asked unsure if she should even go there. He gave her a playful look though.

"Suprised? I do play the role of cruel supposedly reformed, but not really reformed death eater quite well, don't I?" He said smugly.

"So it's all an act?" She asked disbelieving that the cruel man she had known was a fake.

"Not all of it. After spending years murdering innocent people and never sleeping because your conscious keeps you up all night, and serving a mentally unstable Dark lord, you tend to not give a fuck about how people perceive you. If it just happens to play into my death eater persona, well then so be it." He said stopping at the bench and taking off his over coat.

He was fit, there was no denying that. She was used to the wiry muscles that the boys her age had. His muscles were filled out and she could see them moving under his shirt anytime he changed positions. She gulped knowing she was doomed.

"Like what you see?" He asked with a smirk having seen her eyes watching his every move.

"You look so different out of your teaching robes." She said needlessly. Obviously he looked different out of his teaching robes, what did she expect? Him to stay dressed head to toe in thick robes all day? He took a step closer, and his eyes sparkled with amusement.

"While the lemon drops can make you honest, they can't seem to make you any more eloquent, now can it?" He asked, his voice low and teasing. She smiled up at him and closed what little distance there was between them, feeling her heart flutter when her chest grazed his gently.

"I suppose so. I have to ask though, what is your sudden fascination with me? You know as well as I can that you spending anytime alone with me is a bad idea." She said.

He leaned so his breath was tickling her ear again and she gasped at his warm breath tickling her neck.

"A bad idea indeed." He murmured reaching out to push her hair behind her ear again in an intimate gesture that seemed uncharacteristic of the normally stern man. As quickly as the moment had started, it was over though, and he withdrew quickly leaving her cold and feeling more alone than ever.

"What.."

"Hermione?" Tonks called from behind her. Her professor gave her a meaningful look as if needlessly telling her to keep as quiet as possible since she was under the influence of the veritaserum.

"Nymphadora. You're early." Snape said, his voice a mix of cold and indifferent. It was a harsh contrast to the tone he had been using with her for the last few days.

"Well the headmaster thought you may need a break." She said giving Hermione a questioning look.

"What are you doing out here?" She asked folding her arms and letting her eyes flicker between the two of them suspiciously. Hermione shrugged as carelessly as possible.

"I wanted to make sure I would be able to go tot headquarters tomorrow and didn't want to put it in writing. You never know who's in on the post nowadays." She said sounding extremely convincing considering she was lying through her teeth. She could feel Severus watching her surprised at her ability to lie. The veritaserum had worn off, but there was still a bit in her system that she was fighting. Tonks accepted her explanation.

"Oh gotcha. Yea Harry's already there and needs help with his homework no doubt. " She said cheerfully giving her a knowing wink obviously having no clue about Harry's preferences. Hermione rolled her eyes but decided it was best to leave now.

"Good night to both of you." She said waving at them and leaving them to their order discussions she was sure they would have.

"Wotcher Hermione." Tonks said. Her professor didn't respond to her telling them goodnight, but she could feel his eyes on her when she went back in and knew he was as curious about the sudden change in their relationship as she was.

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Please leave a review! I am editing this as I go, so feedback is always welcome! It's always interesting to see other people's thoughts :)


	3. Chapter 3- Surprise attack

Thanks for all the wonderful comments, they truly make it worth updating :)

Without further ado, welcome to chapter three!

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She was only too pleased when Lupin showed up to take her to headquarters the next day. She had her bags packed and waiting by the door, and practically ran out when he got there.

"Are you going to tell your parents goodbye?" He asked shocked by her leaving their house so rapidly.

"I already did." She said evasively. They walked down the street to get out the public's eye to apparate. She couldn't help but notice he seemed to be holding back a question, rather terribly if his constant glances her way were any indication.

"What is it?" She asked annoyed. He hesitated for a moment before responding.

"Severus stopped by headquarters this morning." He said cryptically as if this should mean something to her. She had expected a comment about the lack of her mother's scent in her house, not a random comment about Snape.

"Fascinating." She mumbled sarcastically. He stopped in an alley that was secluded and faced her with a worried expression.

"He smelled of you." He said unsure of what her reaction to him bringing this up would be.

"And…" She said knowing her frustration was creeping into her voice now. He seemed to be tiptoeing around something, she just couldn't figure out why he would be so concerned about her having Snape's scent on her...unless…

"You think he forced himself on me." She said coldly.

"Did he?" He asked when she didn't answer the question after a moment. She held out her arm and glared icily at him.

"Take me to headquarters." She said harshly. How could he think that of Snape. Even when she had her doubts and wondered whether or not he was loyal to the cause, him pushing himself on a girl would have been a ludicrous accusation. He was nothing if not courteous.

"Hermione, I know he's in Albus's good graces, but he's also a death eater. I won't tell anyone if you don't want me to, but Tonks said she saw you with him last night and he was in a terrible mood this morning when I asked him…"

"What if he took advantage of me? Yea, I can't imagine why that would make him angry." She retorted hotly. He opened his mouth to respond, but she cut him off again.

"I'm done talking about it. Take me to headquarters." She said knowing from the worry he still had in his eyes that he wouldn't believe her even if she made it utterly clear that the man hadn't done anything untoward.

"If you need to talk, I'm here." He said gently, then took her arm and apparated them away. She had wanted to go to headquarters so bad when she was at her home, but after that conversation, the loud greeting she got from the many inhabitants of Grimmauld place was just too much.

"Hermione!" Harry said throwing himself around her. She returned the hug having missed her friend desperately.

"I'm going upstairs." She whispered to him when Molly and Ron and everyone came out to greet her. Harry gave her a worried look, but smiled and let her go. She went upstairs without saying a word to the others and knew she would pay for it later with all their concerned looks, and no doubt Lupin would share his conspiracy theories with the rest of the house causing unneeded drama.

She smiled feeling her annoyance at the day fade away when she saw Falcon waiting on the windowsill outside. She left him in and massaged his neck in thanks since she hadn't unpacked her treats yet.

"Thanks love." She said untying the rolled up note.

The world despises all that is good

But your love is pure, like a sainthood

Keep strong my love, for you know

I will be there soon rain or snow

S.

She smiled and sat down on her bed reveling at the beautiful words. He was so uptight and indifferent to so many people. She had no idea what had caused the shift in his thinking of her, but she couldn't deny that she liked it. She penned a response happily.

Lupin thinks your intentions are ill, it is dangerous for you to be sending me these letters...which makes every word even that much more thrilling. I don't know what I did to gain your attention, but I am glad I get to see the side of you that no one else sees.

H.

She tied the letter to Falcon and let him fly off just as footsteps were coming upstairs. THe quiet knocking let her know it was Harry, no doubt sent as an informant by the rest to make sure she was okay. They might be frustrating, but she knew their intentions were honest, even if misplaced.

She let Harry in, noting the thinness to his face that he always had when he just came here from his relatives.

"Hey. So having a rough day?" He asked plopping on the bed lightly. She sighed and laid down next to him smiling at his ruffled hair. She tried to smooth it down, but failed miserably.

"You could say that." She said tiredly. He gave her a smile that was comforting in the way that only a best friend's smile could do.

"They are just worried is all." He said, his green eyes bright in the fading light. She couldn't help but notice that he seemed happier than usual. It was unusual for him to be so happy.

"You seem happy. Is there a special someone in your life that I don't know about yet?" She asked knowing there was when he blushed and ruffled his hair embarrassedly.

"You wouldn't believe me even if I told you." He said. She rolled her eyes. At this point anything was believable.

"I wouldn't be so sure of that. Tell me, your secret is safe with me." She insisted snuggling up against him. He mumbled something under his breath that she didn't quite catch. She gave him a questioning look and he sighed and repeated himself a little louder.

"Malfoy." He said, watching her as if waiting for the rejection. She was shocked sure, but she had always known he was gay. She had thought there was some flirting between the two of them during their legendary fights, but she had always thought she was just imagining it.

"Ah, I see. So how did that happen?" She asked curiously.

"You're not mad?" He asked surprised. She shook her head.

"Nope. Why would I be mad about you finding someone you care about?" She asked plainly. He smiled gratefully and messed up his hair even more in his nervousness.

"He started owling me insults and I started owling him back trying to match his insults, and somehow, I don't know, it turned into flirting. We've been meeting secretly for the last month while I was at my aunt and uncle's house." He admitted bashfully. She knew exactly what he meant. Sometimes things just seemed to happen with no rhyme or reason.

"Harry, Hermione!" Mrs. Weasley called from downstairs. Harry sat up and pulled her up with him.

"The order is having a meeting tonight and were actually invited for once." Harry said excitedly. She knew that he had probably been waiting for this moment since he found out about the Order.

"Well, we probably shouldn't be late then." She said letting him drag her downstairs as if they might get caught in traffic on the way down or something.

She stopped dead in her steps when she saw Snape at the bottom of the stair, wet from being outside presumably in the rain that had started since she had gotten here. Harry turned to ask what was wrong and followed her eyes to her rain drenched Professor who met her gaze emotionlessly. His black eyes were captivating, as if trying to communicate some emotion, without letting anyone else see what he felt.

"You're going to attract unnecessary attention." Harry whispered in her ear, tugging on her hand gently to shake her out of her trance.

"What...oh yea." She mumbled incoherently. The entranceway was full and loud with all the order members filing in slowly to the room. She sat down next to Harry and Ron who immediately got into some debate about quidditch. The headmaster came in a few minutes late looking tired, but joyful as always.

The fact that Severus sat at his right hand was not lost on her. And to think, everyone in the room considered him a traitor.

"Alrite, quiet. Is everyone ready to start?" The headmaster asked. The room fell silent under his authoritative tone.

"Perfect. Okay, so who wants to start?" The headmaster asked the room in general.

"I will." Hagrid offered, launching into his latest exploits as liaison between the order and magical creatures. Apparently they were trying to win over Vampires and losing terribly, a fact that Severus found amusing. His black eyes met her with carefully restrained mirth. She noticed the barely perceptible shaking of his hand on his quill that he was supposed to be taking notes with, but was just twirling absently with instead. She wished she had some way of communicating with the man without the entire room noticing.

"Like this?" He asked her, his amused voice resounding in her head. She was surprised at him using reverse legilimency, but she supposed if he wasn't surprising if he were as good as everyone said, it wasn't an issue for him. She tired to think back a response not sure if he would get it or not.

"Yes, like that." She retorted back.

"You were at a meeting." She said observantly.

"Yes, it went well, as I'm sure you noticed." He said back mentally. She glanced away for a moment so it didn't look like they were just staring each other endlessly in the eyes.

"What's so amusing about Hagrid's attempts to gain the loyalty of the vampires?" She asked curiously. He hesitated as if not sure whether or not to answer her.

"We already have it." He said simply. She frowned unsure of how he could be so sure. Then it dawned on her.

"You're one?" She asked incredulously. He gave her a barely visible nod. She had never considered that the rumors would be true. Suddenly his strange behaviors made sense. When a vampire met their life partner, they fell in love hard and fast. He obviously couldn't love her that way as a child, but when she started to become an adult, he started to get drawn to her. It all made sense now. She looked away unable to look at him while she thought this all out.

It was terrifying knowing that even if he didn't love her now, he would love her by the time she became of age. He would be so consumed by her from the vampire bond that he wouldn't be able to touch anyone else even if she died. In this war, that was an all too real possibility. She could try and ignore it, but that would disastrous for him. He would go insane if she refused to acknowledge him. The bond he would develop for her would make him think of nothing but how to get to her.

There was case after case of a vampire having to be killed because they had lost it when their love didn't return their affections. They would have to keep it on the down low though. There was no way they could have a relationship with him as her teacher. THere were special exceptions for vampires, but people still always treated the women like she was under the influence of some sort of love potion, despite the fact that while vampires were romantics at heart, the girl of their affection would only have the normal attraction they would have to the person whether or not they were a vampire.

Hence, all the vampires that had gone insane due to unrequited love.

She looked back at him, but he was looking at the headmaster purposely avoiding her eyes. She had never considered him someone who was insecure of himself, but he definitely seemed unsure of what her reaction would be, and seemed to care about what it would be. She gave him a soft kick under the table and smiled when his eyes caught hers. He barely glanced at her, but she could see some of the tension leaving his muscular shoulders.

"Sirius, you're being quiet." Albus said, picking up on the completely obvious fuming of Sirius, that didn't relax one bit during the various reports. He seemed to rock a bit on his chair, as if deciding whether or not to flip out, but then gave in and stood up facing Snape, his fury evident on his good looking features.

"I'm sorry. I can't sit here while this disgusting man keeps making eyes at Hermione. Surely I can't be the only one who noticed."

"Sirius!" Molly gasped outraged at his cruel tone.

"He's drugging her under a love potion or something. Did you hear what Lupin said? He smelled her on Snape when he came in the other day, and Tonks saw them alone together. He's doing something to her. I knew we should never have let him keep watch over her. I told you, didn't I?" Sirius fumed, banging his hands on the table at the end of his rant for emphasis, turning his accusatory glare to the headmaster.

"Don't." Snape said when she opened her mouth to retort. It took her a minute to realize he had just spoken to her just in her mind. She closed her mouth and swallowed the retort that she wanted to give the entire room to shut up their idiocy.

"I can't even look at someone without being hated." Snape muttered to Albus with a bitter smile.

"I'll leave. It's not like I have any important news about the raid my master has planned on this place. By all means, since you can't stand my company, I'll go back to what I do best. Taking advantage of innocent girls in the open road under a street lamp with passerby's watching. I'm just that good, aren't I?" He snapped sarcastically to Sirius who practically growled at him even as he left the room in one sweeping movement.

"You idiot." Hermione snapped and stormed out of the meeting without looking back on the foolish men. Snape was almost at the door and she barely managed to grab the edge of his robes. He spun on her and gave her a furious glare, yanking his robe away from her.

"Stop." He ordered cooly. She took a step back surprised by the anger she could feel rolling off him in waves. His anger lessened when she started to leave, hurt by his coldness.

"Just not here. They will only make your life worse if they think you return my affections." He explained patiently. She huffed and folded her arms at this.

"Do you really think I care." She asked impatiently. He rolled his eyes, but she saw the slightest upturn of his lips in amusement.

"No, but you should." He leaned back against the door heavily and watched her , his eyes darkening slightly.

"I need to go. The attack will be tonight though. Plan accordingly." He said stiffly. She nodded and he turned and left without another word. She didn't know why she felt so cold after he left, but it was a feeling she was unfamiliar with and confused her already confused mind.

"The attack will be tonight." She said, walking back into the meeting as if she hadn't just stormed out of it a few minutes ago. The room went silent as the occupants took in thie information.

"He couldn't give us some more time to prepare, could he?" Sirius snapped, still pissed obviously.

"Oh hush it Sirus, we need to make plans, not insult someone who's not even here." She order him, feeling a sense of satisfaction when he leaned back sufficiently chastised by her cold words.

"We should get the children out." Molly said, her worry evident on her aging features.

"That would be suspicious. We can't risk Voldemort realizing Severus is passing along information." The headmaster said reasonably.

"We need to just be prepared. Make sure the wards are strong enough to hold them out." Lupin suggested from the opposite side of the table.

"That would do little good, any wards constructed this late wouldn't have time to settle. They would be as useless as a glass barrier." Mr. Weasley said.

The ideas went around the table, but Hermione leaned against Harry needing his comfort. He sighed and kissed her forehead tenderly.

"It's amazing how blind they are, isn't it?" Harry asked softly, not that anyone was paying attention to them.

"I don't feel at home at my house, and feel like an outcast here. I can't wait to go to Hogwarts." Hermione admitted, the optimism she had for coming here dissipating with every moment.

"It gets better." Harry assured her and pulled her closer. She hummed unsure if he was just trying to make her feel better, or if it would really get better. The group finally realized what Harry and her had figured out in mere minutes, they would have to just fight the attack when it came.

She went to bed after passing on the details of the meeting to a very interested Ron and Ginny who had been banned after Molly had thrown a huge fit, making sure they wouldn't be allowed in. She flopped down in bed and prepared herself to do what she normally did at night, look outside at the night sky.

It was something she found strangely comforting. She knew the stars were really just giant balls of burning gas, but she also found the college of stars that litter the sky to be enchanting. What sort of magic would it take to create such an impressive display for all generations to see? What would have caused someone to want to put on such a display? Was there someone they wanted to prove their love to?

She had started to doze off on the window seal, but a tapping brought her back to reality. She started awake and let Falcon in without another thought.

"Hey Falcon" She mumbled feeling sorry for the work-out the poor bird was getting from their constant correspondence. The falcon sang her a soft note and sat beside her on the window sill and looked out like she had been doing earlier. It didn't have a note, so she could only figure Snape had sent him to watch over her tonight. She smiled despite herself at the thought of him thinking about her when they weren't even near each other.

"I suppose it's just gonna be you and me until the raid, huh?" She asked the falcon who just looked back at her with black eyes. She sighed and stroked the falcon's soft grey feathers.

The first blast caught her off guard. She had been waiting for so long that she had assumed that the attack wouldn't really come on such a peaceful night. Ginny shot up out of bed, and she could see the fearing the young girls eyes despite her having been prewarmed also.

"Get your wand out." She ordered the girl who nodded shakily and grabbed her wand off her table. The next blast was louder, and she could hear the front door crashing in, and the many footsteps as the order woke up and went running downstairs to try and stop the invasion before it got too bad. She went to the door and heard the unmistakable bands of dark curses hitting the walls downstairs and gave Ginny a stern look.

"Stay quiet" She said opening the door.

"You're supposed to stay put Hermione." Ginny exclaimed and jumped up to stop her, but she had already warded the girl inside the room.

The chaos downstairs was frightening, and her heart started pumping adrenaline widely. The Dark lord had spared no soldiers in his attack, and the order was outnumber two to one. She cast a dissolution charm on herself before she was spotted and put her wand away. She had been playing with wandless spells since they were invisible and undetectable until they hit you, but she wasn't really too confident normally.

The adrenaline coursing through her veins gave her the push she needed, and she started sending out crippling hex's to the death eaters, winding in and out of the spells ricocheting off the stone walls of Grimmauld place. She counted the Death eaters she took out with her glee increasing every time she saw one fall.

"There's someone hiding you fools! Stop them!" Bellatrix shouted from the other side of the room, her death eater mask hiding her features until her voice gave her away. Hermione smirked and hit her with a iceing hex making her turn to a frozen statue that could only be defrosted by the exact counter curse that only she had since she had invented the hex in the first place. That served the bitch right.

"Having fun?" She heard Snape say in her mind, and she ducked a killing curse easily.

"Maybe." She admitted hexing another death eater.

"Don't bother lecturing me on how dangerous this is. The order would be crushed if it weren't for me." She said cutting off the rant before he could give it.

"I was going to say you look beautiful when you're being a sneaky little slytherin." He retorted in her mind.

"You can see me?" She asked surprised. She had never read anything about vampires being able to see through spell work.

"Of course. You're standing in between Ramos and Mclean." He responded amusedly. She dodged another spell and she touched the back of Ramos's neck and had him unconscious on the floor before he could try and turn around. Lupin looked right at her, and she knew he could smell her even though he couldn't see her. He looked furious, but his anger was taken off her when a woman with long blond hair that she assumed was Narcissa started sending spells at him.

The tide was turned quickly in the favor of the order, and she was about to leave the rest of the fighting to the order, but then she saw Severus. dueling and froze. She hadn't recognized him in his death death garb, but his black hair gave him away. His bone mask made her blood run cold, and the ornate robes gave him a dark aura that sent fear through her.

That is how the rest of the order viewed him. As a man who dueled mercilessly with Mcgonnigal wearing the mask made of the bones of a human, and wearing the robes of a killer. His dark eyes were focused on Mcgonigal and their heated duel, but his eyes flicked to hers a moment too late. Gibbon had somehow figured out her location and sent a spell ehr way. She wouldn't have had the time to react even if she hadn't been watching Snape fighting. She saw the panic in his eyes, then all went dark.

When she woke up she was disappointed to find herself looking straight into the bright blue eyes of the headmaster.

"So you decided to join the land of the living once again?" He asked kindly. She looked around and saw that the entire room was focusing their attention on her, including Ginny, Harry, and Ron, who were all still wearing their pajamas so too much time couldn't have passed.

"What Happened?" She croaked, her voice uneven with the pain that she was steadily becoming more aware of with each breath.

"You were struck by a nasty curse while being a renegade. I thought we agreed that you would stay in the safety of the room?" The headmaster asked sounding a mixture of amused and fatherly at the same time. She shrugged and took the water that lupin offered her, straining to sit up but managing to bite her lip and hold in her pained cry.

"I thought you might appreciate it if everyone didn't die tonight." She said tonelessly.

"We were fine." Sirius said sounding outraged that she didn't think they could handle it. She laid back down and closed her eyes against the pain trying to block it out, but only managing to make herself see black stars.

"Yea, well, the portrait of Sir Lincoln didn't just by chance fall right in front of the killing curse that was headed straight for you." She said looking up at them trying to find Snape.

"He's called away." The headmaster said softly as if the whole room didn't hear him.

"He won't be back tonight then. Voldemort will be pissed at him." She said wishing she had done slightly less interfering. Now he would be tortured probably all night because they won so easily.

"He left a pain potion for you, do you need it?" Harry asked unsurely. She hadn't realized she had done such a good job at covering up her pain, but she practically yelled 'yes' at him in her desperation for some relief. The headmaster handed her a bottle of tick pain relieving potion that soothed her aching muscles instantly.

"Thanks." She said handing the bottle back to the headmaster who nodded curtly.

"Well, now that the drama of the night is over without any severe maladies, I think it is time for everyone to enjoy a victory sleep." He said cheerfully, dismissing the room of haggard fighters. She expected him to leave with the rest of them, but instead he sat beside her, waiting patiently for the last sleepy person to leave before turning to her.

"Be careful with Severus." He said, his blue eyes twinkling seriously. She looked a thin incredibly shocked that even he would be warning her about Snape.

"Really? He had been nothing but good to me. You don't have to worry about me." She said with a hint of ice in her voice. He shook his head and sighed tiredly showing uncharacteristic exhaustion.

"No, I meant, don't hurt him. He has waited for so long to find the one, and now, if he loses you, he wont have any reason to stick around." He said gently. She had never thought he would view her as the threat to the man. She could see his worry, and knew he was sincere in his concern so she didn't take offence to this.

"He is so multi-layered. He is unlike anyone I've ever met." She said with a smile.

"He is also difficult to deal with. You just have to be patient and remember he was never taught to work through his emotion like normal people, so what you see is rarely ever what you actually get." He explained. Her smile faltered a bit at this.

"He's had it really rough, hasn't he?" She asked quietly. He didn't respond, but looked at her with an unfamiliar emotion.

"He has given up everything and received scorn in return. He deserves his reward now, and you just may be that reward." He said. She fiddled with the blanket that had been put on her while she was unconscious unsure of how to respond to that.

"You won't expel me?" She finally asked after a moment.

"Expel you...for what?" He asked innocently. She shook her head at the senile old man and he bid her goodnight and insisted she had to get some sleep. She had planned on going upstairs to take a shower, but no sooner had the thought crossed her mind, then she was knocked out. Her last thought was of Snape being a conniving jerk for lacing her potion with a sedative.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~oOo~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Well, what do you think?

Is the headmaster too nice? Perhaps, but I've always thought he was the type to bend rules whenever he felt like it and it suited his interests.


End file.
